Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
that's an acceptable place to lick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
