Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
