I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
