he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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