My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
