I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
