Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
