so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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