I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
