I want to stick my p in your. b.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
