If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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