There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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