I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
