FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
