Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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