NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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