i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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