yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
