butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
