i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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