I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
