Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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