I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
