Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
