we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
These tits shall not be calmed
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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