Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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