I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
