It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
