Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
