have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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