I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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