If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
