Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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