Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
