isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
