so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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