32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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