woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
