Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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