Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Randomize
