I wish I could punch you in the face.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
