He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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