So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
