And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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