It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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