why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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