Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
