Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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