Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I could make wine with my vomit
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Did I show you my penis last night?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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