I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
