she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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