I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
