this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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