did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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