I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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