my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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