just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
