last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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