its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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